We’re All In The Same Boat

Why can’t this be enough? I think as my right thumb hovers over my iPhone’s screen as if there’s a hidden well inside it that can fill up whatever part of me is still unsatisfied. I’m on a boat with four of my closest friends, sailing past the Santa Monica Pier on a sunny Saturday morning. …

Continue reading We’re All In The Same Boat

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Fat Kids Make Easy Targets

Fat kids make easy targets, and, at 10 years old, I was a bus-sized bullseye. Imagine the porkbellied two-year-old stuffing his face with deep fried chicken wings backstage at Maury’s Morbid Babies show. Now picture him eight years later, roaming the blacktop in grey sweats like a baby elephant with a butt cut.

The Long Way Home

The one block left before our turn stretches out before me like a pirate’s plank, and the more I try to convince myself that everything’s okay, the more I feel like I’m going to be fed to the fishes. The food coma has overtaken my girlfriend at this point and she sits in the passenger seat with her eyes closed. I contemplate turning into our complex, but the possibility of us being murdered is too much to bear. As long as we’re in the car, we’re safe.

FirsT1Date

I glance inside the restaurant. Everyone looks so warm. Couples smile between bites of pasta and sips of wine. I envy how easy dating used to be. Before I had to research every restaurant I took a girl to. Before I had to scrutinize the staff about each of the ingredients they used in making their “signature sauce”. Before I had to escape to the bathroom just as our meal arrived to inject insulin. Before every meal was a dance with death.